To Whom It May Concern:
It’s not so bad.
Sure there are bad people with guns and bombs out there,
But so far you are safe, right?
You are safe, right?
In the event that the intended recipient of this letter is no longer available,
Is no longer safe,
Please forward to the new occupant.
Your cooperation is appreciated.
Now. Where were we?
Ah yes, safe. Safely ensconced in our comfortable homes,
With our comfortable food, and our comfortable cars,
Driving back and forth to our comfortable jo…
What? You don’t like your job?
You’re not so comfortable?
You’ve been doing some checking and maybe everything is not quite as
Uh, comfortable as it seems?
Now now. Lets not get carried away,
Shall we? You yourself are comfortable. You
Yourself, and your immediate family are doing just fine,
Yes? Fine, fine. Lets restrict ourselves to that, then,
Good. Good. So you are well?
Now don’t go looking for trouble wherever you might find it,
Because you are sure to find it, and why would you want to do that?
Leave the rest to us.
Isn’t that better?
(Written in November, 2015 as part of the Writers Digest November PAD Challenge)
(Page header image from The Boston Cooking School (1986) magazine of culinary science and domestic economics, from the Boston Public Library via Flickr.)